Thursday, December 23, 2010

That kinda day....

I was going through files on my computer at work, hoping to find something that would spark me for today's post. I found it, but it isn't mine. I honestly can't remember where I first saw it. Something tells me that it was from Jamoosh, but I wouldn't bet on it. I wrote a little introductory paragraph, then updated our Wellness Team's intranet site with it. Owing to the fact that I am a bit lazy today and don't really want to be here, I am just going to copy and past that entry into this blog. So now you have a little insight into my day.
It will get better, I know, as soon as I can be home with the family.
That kinda day.....

Wellness shouldn't be all "do this and not that". We will all find our groove. It is a journey, right? Every once in a while, though, it is nice to have some guideance to make sure that we are still on the path that we want to be on. To that end, I offer you some signs that your workout plan isn't going to be as effective as you hoped:

Signs You’re Not Giving 100% During Your Workout
•Clothes actually smell better after you’re finished
•You just logged a .5K run
•Personal trainer keeps using you as example of what not to do
•Favorite machine:  ElevatorMaster (ed. note: do they sell these at Sears?)
•You have to ask somebody which direction to walk on treadmill
•You’re using an inflatable kettlebell
•According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie
•You spend 95% of your workout time “limbering up”
•You rest so long between sit-ups that a nurse walking by starts performing CPR on you
•You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling
•You work out in penny loafers
•Gym nickname:  “Creampuff”
•You leave car running during your workout
•Favorite workout playlist on your iPod is nothing but lullabyes
•Your gluteus never seems to get any less maximus
•Heart rate monitor continuously flatlines (ed. note: asystole is a stable rhythm)
•Your “yoga” is just you sitting Indian-style and working a sudoku puzzle

5 comments:

  1. Oh no... does a 0.5km run not count towards janathon?

    I really liked this post. I don't want to admit it but there are days when I apply one or two of those points to my efforts!

    I should print this off and put it in my gym bag!

    Bx

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  2. Ha - I have a ton of these things stored somewhere on my computer too. One of the best is 'prostitute or consultant' :)

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  3. Love it, thanks for the funny! Hope you and your family have a great xmas!

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  4. That was pretty damn funny.
    And Merry Christmas!

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