Tuesday, May 4, 2010

golf rant. my apologies in advance.

before i get too far into this, i want to say that I am NOT un happy about what i have decided to do this saturday. let's just say that it is a bit out of the box for me, and WAAAAAAAAAY out of my comfort zone. So, of course, I have opinions and 'things to say' about it.
my brother and sister in law are expecting their first baby this year. sometime in August, me thinks. yay, them! naturally, my MIL is throwing a shower, and my FIL is throwing a (what DO you call the men's version of this?) party of sorts. Their son is the father to be. Let's call him Colby. His wife shall be called (for the sake of simplicity and anonymity) Britany. Got the cast set? good. so, I have known Colby since he was about 6, although there was an 18 year gap in there. ANYWAY....he's a good BIL, I have no complaints. I know that if i needed him for anything, he's but a phone call away.
but our interests are very dissimilar. he (and the rest of his family/circle of friends) are avid sports fans. and by sports fans i mean the typical baseball, football, NCAA basketball, and basketball that has dominated the American sports scene for (IMHO) far too long. oh, and he golfs.
which brings us to Saturday. I rec'd an invitation to join in on a round of golf as part of the day's celebration of the soon to be arriving cherub. the family has been golfing many, many times since i have been around, but i have never been invited to play. according to my wife, they "all know how you feel about golf". since this was a special occasion, I decided to accept the invite. this is where the 'out of the box' part comes in. I have no problem spending a day outside, walking around, looking at things. in fact, i would pretty much prefer to spend most of my days doing this in some form or another. except golfing. i just don't get it. whack a ball, go chase it, repeat. for 3-4 hours. i think that i would enjoy it more if it were played with 4 clubs only, 5 balls, and you had to RUN between shots. loser at each hole needs to do 10 push ups for every shot they lose by. once you lose all 5 of your balls, you are done. would really speed things up a bit, AND make it more interesting. as for the pros, i REALLY don't understand why spectators have to be silent during the shot. i don't. if they were pros at it, the sounds wouldn't be distracting AT ALL. seriously. can you imagine being silent during a race? no cheering during the final .2 miles of the Boston Marathon? what????
and now for the comfort zone thing. it isn't that i don't play well with others, it is that i don't socialize well with others. even in my immediate family, as my wife will attest. i just don't. silence, to me, speaks volumes. i could spend 4 hours in a car with someone, not talk at all, and not be offended/hurt/bored/sad/whatever. it does, i have found out, make the OTHER person uncomfortable. when i am on course this weekend, i am certain that the other 3 people in my group (who it is almost a guarantee that they will be strangers) will want to chit chat about stuff. Celtics in the playoffs. RedSox blowing another season. NFL Draft. Bud Lite. Wow, it is hot. I hope it doesn't rain.
I don't want to talk. I want to enjoy the course. I played my first round of golf ever at this same course, back when it was only a 9 holer, back in the 80's. It has history; it is the 2nd oldest course in VT. There are maple trees that are most likely over 100 years old.
Help. Send me good vibes. Oh, and as it turns out, i have to wear a shirt with a collar. To go for a walk. If I could golf with this guy, it might be a whole different story.
I will try to put together a race course report for early next week. We'll see how it goes. If you don't hear from me by the middle of next week, have the cops start checking the swamp just off the 5th Tee.....i'd appreciate it!


  1. Volunteer to drive one of the golf carts and pack a flask!

  2. Good luck with the golfing. Sounds like we're in for a treat with the recap!