***warning. not much about running here***
The last one, of me actually RUNNING, was taken at the finish line of a hill climb race about a year ago.
Today, I posted the picture of the brick wall. NOT because I am doing brick workouts, and NOT because I feel like I run until I hit the wall.
Rather, I post the picture to represent the wall that I am eternally (internally?) banging my head against. I read once (and then reread many times) that the definition of insanity can be put like this, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results", or something along those lines. My apologies if I botched it up really bad, but I am sure that the message is still there.
I am a pro at this head banging thing. If only I could figure out a better way.
Today, while at work, I overheard some other nurses talking, and this word "ANHEDONIA" popped out, as if to say, "Hey! Gene! Look me up!" So I did. On webmd, next to the definition of the word, was a picture of me. (If you go there now to verify, you will be disappointed. I have since had my people contact their people, and after threatening them with copyright infringment, they removed the picture. Now I think they have a picture of a slug or something, but the caption still reads "Gene, a textbook example." I kid. It doesn't really say that. But it could.
Here is an open apology to my family for the way I am behaving lately. You don't deserve it. You deserve a husband/father/step father who is vibrant, full of energy, forgiveness, good ideas, and positive vibes. Instead, you have me.
For this, I am deeply sorry.
I write this at the risk of losing my 'followers', but I can assure you that I will be back to writing about running soon. Maybe as early as tonight. I am back to work tonight, and for two more nights after that.
Thank you for tolerating my mood today.